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Lambeth Reflection by Michael Bell As I departed Canterbury last week to begin my voyage back home, I wasn't sure what I should write about my experience at the 2008 Lambeth Conference (www.lambethconference.org). This experience had been a blessing, indeed. And, at times it had not been particularly pleasant. Right now, I'd say I'm ambivalent about my Lambeth experience and look to Paul's relationship to the Corinthians to help navigate through this ambivalence. Indeed, in his letters to the Corinthians, there's a call to abide in faith, hope, and self-giving love. And, there's plenty of instruction, with a corrective tone, about how to live in and as part of a Christian body with many parts. Given the diversity of beliefs and divisions among teachers and teachings in Corinth at the time, I imagine there was plenty of ambivalence going around back then as well. In one respect, there's joyful excitement, sometimes even zeal, about the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and the transforming power of God's grace and wisdom. And, at the same time, there's frustration over the fragmentation in our community over interpretations of mission and authority. This was true in Corinth; it's true in our global Anglican communion; it was apparent at this Lambeth Conference; the dynamic was reflected in the smaller team in which I was working; and, it challenges us here in our own communities. So, here I reflect a bit on my own ambivalence about the Lambeth experience and what it might mean to ministry and my own discipleship. What was exciting about Lambeth? To begin with, I had been invited into unique part of our global body at a unique time in our history together and at a special time in my own vocational discernment. This once-every-decade meeting of Anglican bishops began nearly 150 years ago when certain parts of our communion began to sense potentially problematic provincial disparities and differences emerging. At it's best, this periodic assemblage of 'leaders' from the provinces is meant to bolster bonds of affection and understanding across the regions on matters of importance to our common mission as a global church. The Archbishop of Canterbury first hosted these meetings at Lambeth Palace; but, as attendance increased, the conference was eventually moved to University of Kent in Canterbury. Part of the agenda for this year's conference was discussions on issues of human sexuality and their impact on the work and mission of our bishops. On this topic, I had been invited by Integrity USA (www.integrityusa.org/lambeth2008) to help with the production of a daily newsletter The Lambeth Witness which was to represent the voices of gay, lesbian, and transgendered Christians from throughout our communion, brought together through a coalition called the Inclusive Church Network. Our team of over thirty people represented wonderfully intelligent, passionate, and faithful leaders and activists from organizations in the U.S., Canada, England, and Africa. The byline on our newsletter read "Proclaiming God's Justice, Living God's Love." Our mission was to represent a prophetic witness to encourage our bishops to be stronger advocates for the full inclusion of all the baptized into all of the sacraments of our church. Given my identification as a gay man, my own sense of call to ordained ministry in our church, and the fact that I'm currently in our diocese discernment process and about to begin seminary coursework, being asked to be a part of this effort to influence the future shape of our global communion was a profoundly meaningful opportunity. What was frustrating? Experiencing dysfunctional family dynamics play out on a grand scale and be mirrored in the intimacy of my own team was at times discouraging. There were issues of exclusion (who could attend what meetings, etc.), struggles with interpretations (what was the meaning of what we were hearing from each other), authority (who got to decide what should be said or not said, done or not done), and politics (how hard to press and what methods to use to advance various agendas). Whether you were observing the international press struggling to make significant stories out of the little bits-n-pieces of information and commentary they had access to, or watching the Bishop of New Hampshire wandering the fringes of the conference aiming to maintain a faithful presence even though he was not allowed into any of the official proceedings, or listening to the sometimes bitter and painful debates within our own team as we struggled with understanding and supporting each other in our vested interests, there was a constant tension − sometimes creative and helpful, and other times causing great fatigue. A consistent murmuring about the future structure and covenant beliefs of our Anglican communion only added to the undercurrent of anxiety. As I experienced these aspects of Lambeth, I couldn't help but imagine our predecessors anxious outside the gates of Jerusalem, speaking out in/around the temple courts, offering testimony in the streets, strategizing together in safe meeting places, and arguing fiercely over matters of vital interest. Their struggles with discipleship and the pains of growing an imperfect church in the name of Christ continue in us. I was experiencing echoes of ancient Corinth in contemporary Canterbury. Despite the frustrations at Lambeth, witnessing the courage and tireless conviction of so many diverse people who continue to fight the good fight of faith on so many fronts was both extremely humbling and very motivating. My perspective on my own discipleship and call to ministry has been broadened, in ways I've only begun to understand. I'm fueled by a deeper appreciation for the interdependencies between so many aspects of our Anglican communion and how our actions (or lack thereof) locally in any province have very real, human impact throughout our family. As I continue to 'unpack' and digest many very personal insights from Lambeth 2008 − both encouraging and troubling, I parry to remain focused on the profound simplicity of the work ahead of me… indeed, of all of us. We're called to a fully authentic relationship with a loving God through healthier relationships with each other and the fullness of God's creation. That's a lifetime of work right there. The rest of it − all the debates and discussions of theology and polity, the liturgics and form and function in our churches − can be very helpful or very distracting to that work depending on how we frame things. That's where I come back to the wisdom of Paul's letters to our predecessors in Corinth. He might as well have been writing to us in Canterbury… or here in Los Angeles. "But we must each be careful how we build, because Christ is the only foundation… We don't know everything, and our prophecies are not complete… for now there are faith, hope, and love. But of these three, the greatest is love… Test yourselves and find out if you really are true to your faith" (1 Cor 3:10-11, 13:9,13; 2 Cor 13:5). Copyright © 2008 St. Augustine by-the-Sea
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