| |
- In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was without form. And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
- And, God said, "let there by light," and there was light. And God saw that it was good. And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."
- And God said, "let us make Man in our image, after our likeness." And so God created Man; male and female he created them. And God looked upon them and saw that they were lean and fit. And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in the game."
- And God spread upon the earth broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.
- And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "you want fries with that?" And Man said, "Supersize them." And man gained 5 pounds.
- And God created yogurt, that women might keep enjoying strong bones and good health. And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.
- And God said, "I have sent three heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
- And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose these extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.
- And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
- And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
- And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
- And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery …
-
And Satan giggled and created HMO's.
|
