|
The Wednesday That Changed My Life by Tracey Clanton
"Good Morning, Skycar." "I need a Skycar to take me to 1227 4th Street, please." "Phone number? Is this Tracey?" "Yes" "We'll be right there." By the time the taxi arrived, I had managed to stop crying long enough to repeat the address and answer the Driver's questions. He wanted to know if it was ok to take a short cut instead of driving down Lincoln Blvd at 8:00am. When we arrived, the Driver asked, "Are you a Teacher?" He had pulled up right in front of the school and there were lots of children running into the yard. "No, I'm going to Mass." "Good for you," he answered. "Yes it will be good for me." And at this point, I had started crying again. I had been attending Market Day Mass on Wednesdays for about six months by the time I took that taxi to St. Augustine's. I should probably note that at the time, I had two working vehicles and was physically able to drive-that's just it, I was physically able to drive-not emotionally. I was having my version of a "breakdown" and I was in no condition to drive but I HAD to go to Mass, so I called a taxi. That was the Wednesday morning that changed my life. I'd like to take you back in time to explain. I began attending Market Day Mass because as I told my friends, "I just can't deal!" I was working in an evil, dysfunctional work environment that was affecting me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had lost ten pounds. I know that sounds great to some, but for me it was extremely unhealthy. I was drinking up to four Starbucks caramel frappacinos a day with whip cream. I didn't realize that this was a problem until the Starbucks crew mentioned that they were worried about me-that was the day I added expresso to my frappacino diet. I barely slept and spiritually I was a shadow of my former self. I didn't know what else to do, so I started going to Mass on Wednesdays-in addition to attending the 7:30 Service on Sundays. When Hartshorn returned-he had been on vacation when I started attending-he was very surprised to see me and even introduced me to my fellow Wednesday parishioners. The 5 - 7 people who regularly attend the service spoke up and said, "We know Tracey, she's been coming for weeks." Hartshorn was surprised because as he said, there are no "thees and thous" in the Wednesday service and he knows that I'm a Rite I kind of girl. I do prefer the Rite I Eucharist; however, the Wednesday service gives me a feeling that I can only try to put into words. I feel stronger when I walk out of the glass doors than I do when I walk into them. Especially during the time when I was feeling so broken, so confused-but I never felt alone. The Wednesday service re-confirms my faith that Jesus walks with me always. It's in the words of the prayer, "Our brother Jesus walks with us…" And in bad times, you can't hear those words enough. On Wednesday instead of a sermon, we hear a meditation reflecting on the life of someone who was/is important in the History of the Church. I always get some sort of message from the meditation, you know, like the "moral of the story was." I find myself spending moments during the day reflecting on the moral of the story. It's a spiritual distraction that helped me make it through some pretty bad times. But the times were really bad. So bad that one night on my way home from a work event, I had a car accident. My car was drive-able and no one was hurt but I was freaked out. The accident was as they say, "the straw that broke the camel's back." I knew that I was in trouble and the only thing I could think of was, "God, please help me!" I didn't sleep that night, which had become a regular occurrence and the next morning I took a taxi to St. Augustine's to attend the Wednesday service that changed my life. "Have a good day!" The taxi driver shouted after me as I ran up the church steps. One of the Wednesday regulars noticed that I was crying and went to find the Priest. Joyce came out and put her arms around me and simply said, "I love you Tracey." In those words, I heard the voice of God and knew that I would be all right. The peace that I felt at that moment is the peace that I feel every Wednesday-even when it seems that my world is anything but peaceful. That Wednesday, I didn't go to the office. And I never went back to that office again. I took a leave of absence from my job and one month later resigned totally. That Wednesday changed my life and the Wednesdays leading up to that day helped me when "I couldn't deal!" I attended Market Day Mass every Wednesday while I was unemployed-to help me make it through. I wasn't attending because; "I couldn't deal!" I was attending because the service provided me with the strength to believe. During the times when I needed it most, it seemed that the moral of the story-the message in the meditations were about faith and hope. The mass helped reinforce my faith and I never lost hope. I have a new job now and I attend Market Day Mass as often as possible-about twice a month. I attend now because I'm grateful and I know that I am blessed and it's important to me to celebrate that on Wednesdays. I'm at a different point in my spiritual journey now-I'm searching for answers. And I look for those answers on Wednesdays while listening to the meditation, enjoying the smell of the incense, chanting and praying. And I'm finding them within. And every Wednesday when I walk out of the glass doors, I feel stronger than when I walked into them and I know that Jesus is walking right beside me. I've shared my story because you should know, that wherever you are on your spiritual journey, Wednesday's Market Day Mass is an awesome experience. Experiences that may help you find your way. (Editor's Note: Wednesday mass begins at 8:30 a.m., and is over by 9:00 a.m.)
Copyright © 2004 St. Augustine by-the-Sea
|
