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A Confirmation Reflection by Sophia Lund Most of my warmest childhood memories center around the Episcopal Church in which I grew up-serving as an acolyte, singing in the choir, attending youth group retreats, hanging out with friends, and babysitting for half of the congregation. My church was a gorgeous high church made of stone and ornately adorned with brass crucifixes, intricate stained glass, and incense flowing at every service. The parish was a loving community, and I always felt right at home. Yet when I was 13 years-old, I sat in the pews and watched as the Bishop confirmed my peers into the church. I had decided that I was not ready to make such a commitment-in other words, God and I had still had some talking to do. I prayed regularly and heavily at that age for answers and comfort regarding my parents' divorce and my father's alcoholism, and consider my conversations with God at that time the critical factor in my healing and recovery. Over time, however, thoughts of confirmation were forgotten even as I entered college and became a camp counselor at an Episcopal summer camp, which was an intense spiritual experience that forced me to critically examine my role in the Church. As an adult, I struggled in the absence of that community to recapture the sense of security and acceptance that I felt in my home church. I attended a variety of churches irregularly. My relationship with God continued to sustain me, and I began to breeze through life without investing any real work in my faith. As a social worker, I was accustomed to working with traumatized populations, but my worldview and relationship with God were turned upside down when I began to work closely with children in foster care. Life seemed nothing less than hopeless, and I looked outside of the Episcopa church to find inspiration in a dynamic evangelical church that reinvigorated me temporarily but never felt quite right. More late-night talks with God ensued, and I felt His love and strength more than ever when I decided to change my focus within social work to one that empowers me to remain effective and positive. I realized that I missed the liturgy and intellectualism of the Episcopal church, and found myself led again and again to the peaceful and progressive St. Augustine's. Despite the lack of thurible, gongs, and knee-aching genuflection routines that characterized my childhood church, its beauty and warmth always felt like home to me. Twenty years after my friends were confirmed in the church, I decided that it was my turn to dedicate myself to the Episcopal church as a whole and to the parish of St. Augustine's specifically. The decision to do so weighed on me because I knew that it was a serious one that would change me somehow. I am invested now and feel a sense of responsibility. No longer an Episcopalian just because of my mother's decision for me as an infant or the church that fostered me in my youth, I am now confirmed into the church as a child of God and an adult of the world. I feel different, and it is an exciting feeling! The words that the Bishop said as he laid hands on me fill me with gratitude and joy: "Strengthen, O Lord, your servant with your Holy Spirit; empower her for your service; and sustain her in all the days of her life." Amen. Copyright © 2008 St. Augustine by-the-Sea
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