June, 2004 Calendar In This Issue: The Source of a Dream: Aloha, Mom, Garcia Marquez, and the Smiles of Children St. A's Goes to the Beach Bible Study at OPCC's Turning Point The Holy Spirit in the Christian Journey Sumer is icumen in 1517-2004: A Long Period of Convalescence Evangelism Episcopal Style… Darlene's Story Dave's Story Education for Ministry Reflections on the Women's Retreat Pat Hendrickson & Kate Lewis Reflect on the Blessing of Their Union Carry Each Other's Burdens

Reprint from The Messenger, Christ Church, Charlottesville, Virginia

Ten suggestions to offer positive help to those who grieve:

• Be there. Comfort is a work of the Holy Spirit which is often accomplished through people.
• Be quiet. A simple, "I'm sorry" is often all we need to say. Above all else do not say, "I know how you feel."
• Admit you have no idea how they feel. Grief strikes us all differently.
• Be available. Offer practical help for the future.
• Allow space to talk. Don't force conversation. Instead gently ask, "Is there anything you want to talk about?" Let the griever lead the direction of conversation.
• Touch in appropriate ways. Holding hands and sincere hugging help many people. Do not hold on where the touch is unwelcome.
• Suggest appropriate reading. Psalms 23, 46, 90, 91, 121 and 139 are a few that bring comfort. A handwritten list of helpful readings makes remembering easier.
• Be discreet. In the agony of grief, personal information may be divulged which would not be revealed under normal circumstances. Do not repeat this except perhaps in your prayers for those who grieve.
• Accept the validity of the grief process. Grieving takes time and closure will not be hastened by impatient words.
• Be confident of the hope that Christ offers. His Gospel resurrection is the balm that makes us "stronger at the broken places."

Copyright © 2004 St. Augustine by-the-Sea