Driving up the canyon to the Franciscan Friar's Serra Retreat facility, I recalled Michael Bell's request (the ubiquitous Michael Bell) that I publish my thoughts, summary, or reflections post-retreat in Ebb and Flow. I further recalled the puzzling "what'll I get out of it" reaction of fellow parishioners as I invited, implored, teased them to join this year's experience. My emergent idea − to me 'twas directly from the Spirit − was to ask each participant to write one descriptive word that conveyed his spontaneous mood at the onset of our weekend.

What a clear day. What a magnificent facility and setting! Hardly more than ten miles from Saint Augustine By-the-Sea's front door. Serra sits on a promontory overlooking Malibu lagoon, the pacific ocean and palatial estates − horses, corals tennis courts, pools and greenery in abundance. To the north, the setting sun shone brilliantly on the taller Santa Monica mountain as I exited my vehicle to find a check-in location.

Fr. Hartshorn Murphy had departed us with this retreat gift. He scheduled it and selected the facilitator, Fr. Sam Portaro. Rather quickly a picture emerged. They've known one another since being classmates in seminary. Fr. Sam could tell us of the young adversarial Hartshorn with the clerical collar, African dashiki shirt and Afro big-hair, clashing with school authority. Fr. Sam's manner is calm, contemplative, well convicted and versed in Anglicanism.

He promptly embraced my request that each participant write a spontaneous word that expressed his feelings or spirit as we began our first meeting. "I assume you'll want to repeat the process at the end of our weekend", he added as a sheet of paper was passed among us, each writing his word and concealing it within a fold of the paper. "Expectant" was the word emerging from the recesses of my mind. "Communion." "Companionship." "Curious." "Contemplative." "Uncertain." "Optimistic." "Relaxed and open." And, once more, "curious."

The focus turned next to each attendee introducing himself, his desires-expectations and/or background. I understood the facilitator to mean each is free to tell his story as he chooses. We soon discovered that at least a couple among us felt a need to assist others to better tell their stories. The facilitator was a silent observer throughout this process.

Michael used the whiteboard to summarize and organize participants' thoughts into three general categories: We expressed ecclesiastical concerns. Discernment at crossroads or transitions. Really wrestling with Jesus and concepts of relationship with God. Role/Purpose of church/religion in our lives. How liturgy facilitates a process for us. Enlivening and healing prayer. What's the healthy mix of self-centeredness and other-centeredness?

We shared our backgrounds and experiences. Science. Parenting. Engineering. Technology. Business. Education/teaching. Formative years: '60s and '70s. Military service. Ecumenical training. Death and loss. Benevolent service work. Civic leadership.

We shared our personal journeys. Transitions. Challenges. Belief − Faith. Fear, anxiety, scared. Surrender. Moments of insight. Evidence/sense of God. Injury, hurt, anger. Awareness of mortality. Fellowship/community. Intimacy.

We at last retired to our rooms with time to reflect, sleep and discover whatever the Spirit revealed. My observation is that the Spirit has a sense of humor as some resident's youthful celebration wafted rock music sounds from the canyon, as if through a megaphone, well past midnight. I did not sleep well. Others concurred in that experience.

On Saturday the major focus was on the Anglican liturgy. Fr. Sam led with his clear intellect and respect, even admiration for, tradition, symbols and fidelity to what Jesus commanded.

Furthermore, we organized teams to design our Sunday mass. There was more than ample time for quiet time to take in the magnificence of the site, or to merely be alone. My epicurean sensibilities were well served by the chef and I made this known to him.

Sunday's mass seemed to come together in triads. Three preachers. Three composers and leaders of "Prayers of the People". Three lead vocalists/musicians. The ending feast was an intimate passing of the elements, person to person.

I hasten to add that evidence of the Spirit of our Savior at work among us throughout the retreat, relationships that had emerged as conflicts were healed as individual participants discovered one's own empirical lesson in what first appeared to be another's "wrong approach." Greater bonding and a more cohesive community are outcomes to look for among St. A's men. And, the ending words? "Satisfied. Peaceful." "Informed." "Strength for the journey." "Opportunity." "Accomplished." "Community." "Fulfilled." "Gratitude." "Peace."

I have attended each of the retreats available to men of our community during my thirteen years here. This one is the peak experience. It is, in my judgment, a fitting final gift from Hartshorn to his brothers of St. Augustine by-the-Sea.