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The Circle and the Spiral: Symbols of the Spiritual Journey by The Rev. Hartshorn Murphy
(editor's note: the following is the text of a lecture given at the end of the Inquirer's/Newcomer's class that attempts to address the question of "why join this particular church?")
Several years ago, my family joined the Santa Monica YMCA. Each month, a membership fee is automatically deducted from our checking account. The first few months, we utilized the YMCA facilities - occasionally. We have not used them for some years now but our membership dues continue to be paid automatically. You would say that we are members of the YMCA? From their perspective, we are the best sort of members because we give resources and consume none. We won't discontinue our membership because the Y is something deserving our support, and someday we may wish to use it again. There are people who belong to the Y and who use its facilities and resources "religiously" (to coin a phrase). By and large, I suspect that they are physically healthier than I am.
I listen to public radio from time to time while driving in my car. Although I consume their offerings, I do not consider myself a member and neither would they. During the pledge drive, I switch channels. I am a freeloader. I should feel guiltier than I do.
These are very different ways of participating in public institutions and people affiliate with churches in the same ways. Some formally join the church, make a financial commitment and participate in its various programs from time to time. Clearly, the more one participates, the greater the benefit. Others frankly treat the church like a consumer product and like other consumer products, they give a donation as they receive the product being offered. Unlike the YMCA, but like public radio, a person can participate fully in virtually all the activities of a church without any formal commitment whatsoever.
And so, this talk is not about whether to formally join the church or not but rather is about trying to clarify what we are trying to do here; it's about the product we're trying to produce - citizens of the Kingdom of God.
We say on Sundays: "Wherever you find yourself in the spiritual journey, you are welcome at Christ's feast." That statement is an attempt to signify that we see ourselves as an inclusive and open congregation that seeks to minimize the institutional and ecclesiastical barriers between people and their God. At the same time, that statement acknowledges and affirms that all persons are on a spiritual pilgrimage through life.
Sadly, the word "spiritual" has been over used in our day. Here's the first of two definitions: the word "spiritual" means that process by which we come into the presence of God. Our journey through life is a journey into a conscious, experiential awareness of the presence of God. The Eucharistic meal of bread and wine in which we celebrate the real presence of Jesus the Christ - veiled, as it were, in the physical matter of ordinary bread and mundane wine - is one of the most profound experiences of spiritual intimacy we can have, if we have the eyes to see it. But sacraments aren't magic. They are a means, provided by Christ and offered by Christ's Church, to come into God's presence.
But having an experience of God's presence is not an end in itself. Church is best understood as a vehicle. Historically, churches were built to resemble huge upside down boats. The worship space itself is called to this day a nave, from which we get our word "naval." The church is the vehicle which caries us in the journey, but is not the end of that journey. To encounter the spirit of God is, for those open to it, to enter a crucible. It is to be transformed.
Moses in the Hebrew scriptures and Jesus in the Christian scriptures both came into God's presence on a Holy Mountain and were transformed, their countenance shining with a reflected brilliance. The disciples who followed Jesus lived lives unimagined.
So, too, our journey is one toward being more the person God yearns for us to be, to live the life God yearns for us to live. One way to visualize this is a circle - or better yet perhaps, a spiral - with four aspects.
The initial aspect is the challenge of Identity, to know ourselves. The question of identity can be painful when we scrape away our self delusions and self-defensive mechanisms. The profound truth is that we, of course, can not know ourselves outside of community because others act as a mirror to reflect back our true selves.
The quest for self discovery and identity requires a safe and trusting community in which feedback can be honestly given and received and in which self disclosure can be risked. The more deeply we're involved in Christian community, the more we are known and the better we know ourselves. The second step in the journey is Discernment. What is God yearning for me to become? This is the arena of revelation as we hold our lives in tension over against the life and teachings of the Christ revealed in scripture. As we hold our story over against God's stories in scripture we are led to a larger vision for ourselves. The simplistic question: "What would Jesus do?" is irrelevant here. The profound question is rather: "How does God expect me to live my life?" Best understood, this is a question of stewardship - how do I responsibly and responsively use the blessings God had invested in me to honor God? How do I manage creatively my health, my wealth, my relationships, and my vocation to the glory of God? The third stage is Discipline. How do we live into the changes we are called to make in our lives? One way to think of this comes from the monastic tradition and is called a "Rule of Life." For men and women religious, a rule of life not only defines times for prayer and worship but also for work, for study, for service, for rest. The aim was a balanced lifestyle in which the things of God are not crowded out and forgotten. The Tyranny of the Unimportant
The upper left quadrant are things that fill our time that are not important and not urgent but need doing - all the routine tasks at work and at home that consume our energy and we often resent. The bottom left are unimportant tasks that are presented as urgent. These are usually someone else's urgent agendas that intrude in our lives. The bottom right are both important and urgent - sometimes these are true emergencies that rightfully demand our time, or deadlines at work and home. The upper right are things that are not urgent but are really important: relationships, reflection, play, prayer etc. This quadrant tends to get eliminated by the tyranny of the other three and our lives get out of balance. The tyranny of the unimportant prevents us from finding greater serenity and peace. For centuries, the Church has guarded, preserved and taught models for sane and centered living. Recovering the disciplines of Sabbath rest, quite meditation, prayer, sacred study (lectio divina), chant, body prayer, breath prayer, retreat, labyrinth walking, contemplation - all these spiritual disciplines and many more have as their aim preserving the abundant life God has given us. The Church provides an arena to learn and practice these disciplines. The fourth stage is Transformation. When we begin to practice a more disciplined life, we find ourselves changing and changed. Such transformation may be experienced as liberation, as healing, as renewal or as rebirth. The Church is the place to celebrate and help sustain the transformation of our lives. But know, too, that there will always be pressure to relapse when the cost of change gets high, especially when our relationships are forced to change with us. This, of course, leads to a new identity, a new sense of self, and the process continues on and on throughout life. Sometimes we call this process "sanctification.' Jesus may have had this in mind when he spoke of our need to be "reborn." We can simply call it "New Life," of becoming more like Christ. Throughout this journey in life, St. Augustine's seeks to be, more and more, an intentional community of persons who understand themselves to be on a spiritual path to wholeness and holiness. The second definition of "spirituality" can now be given and is best illustrated by a contrast. Magic, on one side, is the effort to get God to do what we want God to do. True spirituality, on the other, is to be available to do what God wants us to do. This vision of "God accessibility" is a growing goal for us here. It is acceptable to attend worship and events here with another goal in mind: for a sense of being connected in community, for inspiration and education and even for entertainment. That has a value to be sure. But we are compelled to challenge folk to a greater vision: to changed lives and changed values which, in turn, become the salt and leaven to change the world. I explicitly invite you to join us in building this sort of Christian community, into the journey of intentional growth and transformation. To make a conscious choice to go deeper. People often struggle with the decision to join a church because they know instinctively that it is a much greater decision than switching on a radio station or paying a membership fee with optional expectations. In our souls, we hear the Spirit's invitation to a New Life. Such a call is frightening because New Life can not be born until Old Life dies in us. As midwife, the Church can and does coach us into New Life. And so, we'll leave you with a word of inspiration, a quote to ponder from Irenaeus, the Bishop of Lyons (130-200 c.e.): "The glory of God is a human being fully alive, and the glory of a human being is the vision of God." May his words be a lamp unto your path in your journey to and with God. Copyright © 2002 St. Augustine by-the-Sea
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